Mysterious Noises
by zuihitsu
Summary: James and Peter hear some strange thumps and matress squeaks coming from Sirius's room, and their minds immediately go to the gutter. Oneshot. Slash. Image belongs to Keikoutou from Pixiv.


A/N: I don't have a beta so please excuse any mistakes.

Disclaimer: I don't own HP.

* * *

James and Peter were, supposedly, working on their summer homework in James's kitchen when they heard some strange noises coming from upstairs, and, seeing as James's parents were out, that left only the two remaining Marauders as the culprits.

About a week ago, Sirius left Grimmauld Place for good, leaving behind the Black family and all they stood for. Being Sirius's best friend, James offered to let Sirius stay at his home until their graduation from Hogwarts. The other two Marauders were now staying at the Potter's for a while to help Sirius set up his new room and acclimate.

James and Peter looked up from their newest prank plans (carefully disguised as Potions homework to fool James's parents) when they heard a loud thump. They both looked up at the ceiling, curious looks crossing their faces as they heard the distinct squeak of a bed before another thump resounded through the house. The series of thumps and squeaks continued for a few moments before either spoke.

"That - that's coming from Sirius's new room, isn't it?" Peter asked.

"I think so," James replied.

"Remus is up there with Sirius, isn't he?"

"I think so," James repeated.

After another 'thump-squeak,' Peter asked, "What do you think they're doing?"

James looked incredulously at Peter. "Do you really have to ask?"

Peter's eyes grew large and round in his chubby face. "You really think they're doing _that_?"

James sighed, "What else would they be doing?"

Peter glanced up at the noisy ceiling before looking back at James. "I'm sure there's a perfectly logical and - _non-sexual_ - explanation."

A mischievous glint crossed James's face. "Why don't you go up and check?"

"What?!"

"C'mon, Wormtail. You're the one who's sure Sirius isn't pounding Remus into the mattress. Go on up there and find out what they're really doing."

"Er…" A hint of a blush spread across Peter's cheeks.

James sighed dramatically, "Well, you don't have to if you're too embarrassed. I don't know why you would be embarrassed, though, unless you're a _virgin_. Are you a virgin, Wormtail?"

"W-what?! No! I-I'm not a virgin!" Peter protested rather weakly.

James smirked. "Then I don't know why you'd be too embarrassed to go see what they're doing." It would've been obvious to Sirius and Remus that James was manipulating Peter, most likely because James didn't want to be the one to catch his friends shagging. Fortunately for James, however, Peter was oblivious.

Peter glanced back up at the ceiling from which the 'thump-squeak' sounds continued. "O-of course I'm not embarrassed. I'll go see what's going on." Peter stood and walked to the stairs.

James's smirk widened. He did want to know if Sirius and Remus were going at it. If they were, his suspicions about their feelings for each other were right and Lily owed him ten galleons.

* * *

Upstairs, Peter tentatively walked to Sirius's door. He bit his lip as he lightly knocked. "Er…Sirius? Remus?"

The door flew open and inside stood a fully clothed Sirius. "Hey, Wormtail!"

Peter, his eyes wide once again in surprise, looked past Sirius to see Remus, also fully clothed, sitting on Sirius's bed. Remus smiled and waved to the confused Marauder.

Peter opened and closed his mouth a few times before asking, "What…er…what were you two doing?"

"Hanging snitches," Sirius replied. At Peter's confused look, Sirius showed Peter the fluttering paper snitch with an adhesive back that he was holding. Then he jumped up and smacked his hand against the ceiling to attach the decorative Quidditch ball. The newly stuck snitch fluttered its wings and zoomed about amongst the other paper snitches already adorning the ceiling. Sirius landed with a thump, and Remus, sitting next to the pile of snitches waiting to be hung, leaned over to hand Sirius another, causing the bed to squeak rather loudly.

"Oh," Peter said, a trifle lamely.

Sirius chuckled. "What did you think we were doing?"

A bright blush spread over Peter's face. "Oh…er…nothing. We…er…we didn't know."

Sirius smirked. "Uh-huh?"

"Yes. I'll…er…just go back downstairs." Peter then quickly scurried down the hall to the stairs.

* * *

James looked up at Peter as he descended the stairs. "So, were they going at it like rabbits?"

"No," Peter said. "I told you there was a perfectly logical explanation."

"Really?" James asked, surprised. Then, realizing he'd not win his ten galleons, he said, "Damn."

"What?"

James blushed. "Oh…er…"

* * *

Upstairs, Remus laughed and then said, "You shouldn't have embarrassed him so, Padfoot."

Sirius scoffed. "Embarrassed him? He insulted me. He should know that we're sensible enough to always use a silencing charm before having sex."

Remus smiled as he stood up and walked over to Sirius. "I seem to remember one time you forgot."

Sirius looked affronted. "Can you blame me, Moony? You'd just gotten out of the shower and didn't have a towel." There was a pause as Sirius's eyes glazed over as he remembered the incident. "I really should steal your towel more often."

Remus laughed again.


End file.
